Tag Archives: Business

Career Lows

24 Aug

Ever since I made the decision to go back to university I have felt like a new women. It’s amazing how unhappiness and stress in your career, a huge part of our personal direction, can affect and poison every part of your life.

During the past few years, I began to doubt myself. Deep down I think I knew for quite some time that I was not on the right path, but the thought that I had spent years cultivating the wrong career and that a complete change was required was too scary to fathom or face. Therefore, my doubt crept out in other ways. Even in such small ways as to start questioning myself with regards to locking the front door or switching off the stove top, going back to check two or three times. I also started believing that everyone close to me was constantly judging my decisions and so became defensive and unable to handle even the slightest of criticism.

My unhappiness manifested in other ways. Every night I would head home, open a bottle of wine and pour a glass, which in itself is not necessarily a bad thing, but when one glass turned to at least three…….and generally light a cigarette (Bob and I quit cold turkey for 7 months about 2 years ago but during the time of the ‘black period’ I quickly lit up again), which would quickly be followed by another. Before you start imaging me as a smoking drunken lush, know that I didn’t go crazy with these habits, I just lost myself in them and therefore, for a short time every night, I lost my stress. At the time, it was a very seductive prospect, in retrospect, it’s a very scary prospect!

My tiredness never seemed to abate, and so all of the above was compounded. It was a vicious cycle.

I should definitely mention here that there were great parts of my life throughout this time: Bob, my family, my friends and my dog (for the purposes of this blog, she shall be named Little B 🙂 ), but even when I was having a great time, there was a shadow hanging over me. This in turn caused me to feel swamped with guilt for not being happier when I had SO much to be grateful for and really, on the scale of things, little to be unhappy about. And the guilt turned to low self esteem and so the cycle continued…..

And so I will forever be thankful for the ‘black period’ that I have mentioned in previous posts. As you know it was this period, when I changed jobs, looking for escape from a career going nowhere, but actually launching myself straight from the frying pan into the fire that truly forced me to acknowledge that as scary as it may be to return to university and start afresh by following my true passions, it was a far scarier prospect to lose myself to the depression I was falling into from persisting along the same path.

Well, I feel that’s enough introspection for one night. I apologise for letting it all hang out, but all these things are flying around in my brain at the moment as I slowly process and catalogue and I thought it would help to write it down 😀

 

Fact No 7: Sharks are immune to almost all known diseases!

Holy Grail

22 Aug

Well, after a looooooooong moving weekend, we are finally into our new house!

Of course, at this stage, it’s boxes everywhere, every surface covered with stuff we didn’t even know that we had (and surely wouldn’t have moved if we had seen it at the old place!) and yet-to-be  constructed pieces of furniture awaiting construction lying all over the place. In a word, total pandemonium :\

Even though this was my 19th move, I had forgotten, yet again, how exhausting the whole thing is! For the first time ever we actually employed the services of a moving company, who were fabulous, and I really thought that would cut out some of the stress. But, as amazing and astonishingly quick as they were, I was wrong about the stress! How is it that whenever you move house, it feels like your belongings have grown, mated and had babies since you moved in?? The house we have moved to is bigger than our old place, yet it feels like all of our possessions are only just going to fit!

The one thing I did learn from past moves , and this would be my advice to anyone in the same position, was to fiercely protect the kettle through-out the move to ensure that some well-meaning soul did not accidentally pack it and therefore we were/are always able to have that restorative and frankly required cup of tea which makes everything seem manageable 😀

However, enough with the rant, we are in, and I am delighted to report that I think we are going to be very happy in this new home. Here’s hoping that this will be the last of the moving now for quite some time, for various reasons. We now have ducted heating (a central heating system for those outside of Australia) so no more frantic freezing dashes to the shower in the morning, a dishwasher (thank the lord) and a garden suitable for many, many veggies patches and hopefully even a couple of chickens, which fills me with joy as sustainable gardening has slowly become a real passion of mine over the past couple of years. A blooming passion you might say 😉

We also (almost) have a view of the Dandenong Ranges, one of my all-time favourite places in the entire world. If fact, on walking to the tram early this morning (it’s a much earlier start in the new house), the sun was just rising behind Mount Dandenong causing that beautiful pink halo effect. Such an amazing sight, it made me smile 😀

But, the most important thing about our new home is its place as the base for our new beginning, this next chapter of our lives. With Bob’s career in Industrial Design just beginning to take off and my  proposed new start at University in early 2012, it’s a very exciting time for us, and for me, this house seems to encapsulate that.

Furthermore, as well as being much closer to Bob’s work thus cutting out the daylight thievery of our local road tolls, just around the corner stands the University that houses my ideal course: Bachelor of Environmental Science (Wildlife and Conservation Biology) (as well as many other relevant and exciting courses) 😀

Now, I have placed 12 different applications, as is allowed through VTAC (as mentioned in a previous post) but my first four preferences are all at this particular University (all because if I don’t get into my first preference then it would still be great to study in the same department (School of Life and Environmental Science), thus allowing me to possibly switch courses further down the track into my first preference). But even if I don’t get into to any of these preferences and end up at a completely different University, then the hope would be that I would eventually be able to transfer anyways, thus ending up at the same place.

So, today, when I was standing looking at the Dandenong Ranges in the morning light, there in the forefront stood my Holy Grail 😀 It was a very inspiring vision and though I am not quite there yet (in fact not even at the beginning!), it filled me with excitement for my future and I felt happier and more content than I have in a very long while!!!

PS Next time, I am organising movers AND packers!! ;D

Fact No 6: Polar bears look white, but they actually have black skin!